Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman? (Part Three)

(The story of a man named Joshua and the ladies that became part of his life. How he fell in love, feel loved, and searched for love, Joshua discovers how to really love a woman.)

Third of Three Parts:

SAMANTHA

I returned to the city feeling refreshed and anew. There I wrote to Brenda to ask how she's doing and exchanged letters of different stories and love advice. I told her that I am now starting to move on. But I don't know why I feel nothing anymore, like I'm no longer a person who doesn't know how to love again.

Back to work, back to basics (while enjoying my twenties)! I never grow old in this industry. Guitar and microphone are my buddies, and performing is my life. I feel young and joyful every time I sing, because I feel so close on my true love - music.

That time, I was invited to perform on a music event. My college buddy recommended me to the event organizers and when they got impressed with my compositions and gig performances. After my friend's band performance, it was my turn to be on the spotlight. It is more crowded that the usual audience I had, and it's very memorable - really. I was in the middle of the song until the microphone was accidentally unplugged. The show must go on, technical problems solved. And after the song number, somebody told me at the backstage that one of the photographers covering the event accidentally hit the wire and fell right there. Well, it's no big deal for me but what concerned me is her injury. She even felt happy knowing her camera is not damaged.

I went beside her to see if she's okay. When I approached, she apologized for ruining my performance. I gave her my hand to silence her and said it was okay. I helped the medic in cleaning her  wounds which are bleeding so bad, and I immediately put the band aid on it.

After short talks regarding the incident, we managed to share our interests in music. Before she went further, she gave me a compliment on my songs that she almost knocked her camera on her amazement during the coverage. It's midnight when the show was about to end, and that lady needs to take more photos on the event. Before she left, I yelled "Hey, you forgot something!" Then she looked back and asked what is it. I told her she forgot to tell me her name. Samantha is her reply, and waved goodbye.

On my way home, I figured out that I am being the real me again. No boundaries. I love what I'm doing with my life right now and I have to enjoy every single moment of it. I fell asleep to reload for tomorrow's bonding with my brother Paul, where we will watch the game of my favorite football team. It's been a long time since I last paid interest on my favorite sport. Watching a game live with my favorite team is a bonus, especially when you've seen them win together with loud cheers of supporters.

There, while sitting on the bench, something occurred on my mind: That you should love yourself first before you love somebody else. I wasted my teenage years for nothing without even realizing that I also have to speak up my mind with what I want and what I love, and not just following under your girlfriend's shadow while shopping for her clothes.

When Paul and I were leaving the stadium, the fans were trying to take pictures of the players then I spotted a familiar face - Samantha, among the mediamen. Good thing we found an easier way to get out and I had a chance to reach her. We were glad to see each other again and there I knew that she's working as a photo correspondent on a newspaper publication. I grabbed the opportunity to ask for her number so we could hang out sometime, then she agreed to go when she's free.
I haven't talked to  her for a week so I decided to call her and ask if we can have a dinner together. Luckily it's her day-off, so we agreed to meet at 8 p.m. It's a simple yet amazing dinner with her. We have lots of things in common: we both love pasta, music, the band Incubus, Miami Heat, and our sense of style - casual, usually in T-shirt, jeans and sneaks. She told me she's a homebody and not a party girl. There, I admitted I'm not really into partying before until I learned how to attend gimmicks with my then-girlfriend. And from that,  shared my stories from the past. Sam, on the other hand, is no-boyfriend-since-birth. The only thing she shared about love matters is her "baby" cam. Photography as a hobby is enough to make her full, and producing great photos is her appetizer.

After our dinner date, I drove her home to her apartment and we agreed to spend our free time with each other's company. Until it became regular - movies, dinner, concerts, basketball games, etc. There, our "hang out" sessions look like a usual date couples. Let me think about it, it's been six months since we met each other. Yet we stay friends on this regular basis? And why does everytime I go home from work, or after hanging out with her, I miss her easily and send her a text message? Does that mean I am in love again? That I've totally moved on? I told Brenda about it and she could sense a love blooming between Sam and I. Brenda advised that I should plan something when I am ready to confess my feelings for Sam.
I decided to write a song for her, and singing it in front of her door is the most heartfelt performance I'll ever have in my life. And for many years I've been a composer, this is the first time I have written a love song for a lady. I cannot wait to sing this song for her, so the following night I knocked on her doorstep and showed my surprise. The moon and stars are shining brightly, and the moment I said "I love you" feels like we're walking in the sky. I held her hand, she told me she loves me too, and it's official - Samantha is in a relationship with Joshua!
Things went well and our love grew stronger. One time I decided to visit her on work and invite her for a lunch. She's having a photoshoot for the lifestyle section when I arrived. And to my surprise, Coleen is her co-worker. Coleen is styling the models, as Sam takes the photographs.
Coleen caught my eye and I pretend that I didn't see her. She was about to talk to me when Sam approached us. Sam is not aware that Coleen is my ex-girlfriend (I told her the story but not the name) so she introduced us to one another. Both Coleen and I did the same thing, to hide from Sam that we had a past.
A few days later, Sam called up and told me she's having trouble in work. She said she's having a hard time with Coleen, who keeps on complaining with her shots and threw all her work in front of the staff. She's crying on the phone so I rushed to their office to face Coleen and get Sam away from there.
I entered the office and Coleen is the only person left. I was bursting with anger with what she did then suddenly, she held my hand and confessed she still loves me and didn't mean to break up with me. I pushed her hand away and tried to stop her until Coleen tried to kiss me. Sam entered the room and saw it happen, cried once again and came hurriedly to slap my face. "You did not tell me it was her! And now you're trying to get back with her? How could you do this to me?," she said while sobbing.
Coleen interrupted, "I'm sorry Sam. But for your information, Joshua is still inlove with me." I immediately said no, and told Sam that Coleen is just lying. I know it's part of her plan to destroy our relationship, and now she's doing this - ruining Sam's career and our commitment with each other.
Sam left the office hurriedly. I tried to reach her but she's too fast to disappear. I could not even reach her phone or even talk to her on their apartment. Two months later, I was told that she resigned and had no news from her. I lost the woman I love because of the woman I used to love before, who's trying to get back with me and says she's sorry.
- - -
What a mess. It hurts so bad ending a relationship that you wish would not end. What hurts me more inside is letting that important relationship fade away - like a sand castle you've worked hard that was crashed by a wave. I felt bad when Coleen broke up with me, but I feel worse when Samantha ended our relationship without a word. Our castle was already built, our fairytale is about to have its happy ending, until the crown of my queen was stolen by an evil. I need the help of my best friend, the fairy of our story - Brenda.
I returned to the sea all the way from the city to talk to her personally, and to have soul searching moment once again. Folks on the town were busy on my arrival because of the festival on that place. I saw Brenda approaching then gave me a brotherly hug. While walking to the cottage, I repeat the story and she analyzed the situation. She gave me the usual advice that I got from her months ago: Do not search for love, love will find you. At that moment, I was saying to myself that maybe I just wasted my money, time and effort. Just kidding!
She decided to bring me to the nearby park after an hour to relax for a while. There, we sat beside a fountain. While she was talking, I noticed some people dropping coins on the fountain. They're making a wish? I don't guarantee it would come true. Then I read the sign beneath the fountain: Make a wish before you drop a coin. And something you lose will be returned. So I gave it a try... I hope I'll find Samantha.
Brenda and I left the park in the afternoon to witness the parade. While walking, I hit my foot on the rock and and fell of the ground. Brenda asked me if I'm fine, and I stood up, holding a lost Press ID. "I think we need to find its owner," I told her. "It's something important that's lost, and I need to return it... I need to find its owner named Samantha."




-THE END-


(Photo courtesy of "Glee")

Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman? (Part Two)

(The story of a man named Joshua and the ladies that became part of his life. How he fell in love, feel loved, and searched for love, Joshua discovers how to really love a woman.)

Second of Three Parts:
BRENDA

            On my way to nowhere, I paused for a while. Then I noticed I escaped from the city of crowded streets to a peaceful place of lovely sea. Perfect fit for soul searching. The waves and the breeze relaxed my nerves. The sound of the sea made me happy, unlike the songs that I used to sing with Coleen which just makes me cry as they remind me of her. This is what I want to see, and this is where I want to be. The sight of this place made me realize that waves may come and go, but the perfect wave is worth waiting for.

            I decided to take a short walk then I found a perfect spot. There are tourists who stay on that place, enjoying the waves and having fun along the sands. I wanted to make myself busy not by looking at the ladies on the beach, I tried to build a sand castle instead.

            Building a sand castle is not easy. You keep on working although waves might destroy your work. You use your bare hands to make a perfect mold. I know it’s not enough to exert all your efforts with nothing to use in molding shapes and designs for your plan… Then a lady came and handed me a shovel, asked if she could help me, and that’s how it all started.I met a stranger because of a sand castle. I met a friend on a peaceful way. I met Brenda, who fulfilled me during the time I was empty.

I don’t know why she keeps on picking some seashells on the shore, thought most are seen on the sand. Until she told me that like the seashells, beautiful things in life are not always beneath your reach. They also need to be discovered. And even more beautiful than what you expect.

I enjoyed her company on my one week stay on the beach. Like the wonderful seashells along the sea, I didn’t expect to find her. Brenda built a castle for me – a magical one, where I am the king and she is the queen. She held my hand and confessed her feelings for me. The night before I left the place, we sat on the sand while reminiscing the week we’ve spent together.

I admit I like her. And I don’t want to see her cry when I’m leaving. And as soon as possible, I have to be honest with her. I love her as a friend, as a sister, as a teacher. I’m not really expecting to befriend a stranger until she came to cheer me up. It’s more than what I’ve expected… Brenda fell in love with me. But I don’t want to tell her I feel the same way for the sake of moving on. I don’t ever wanna hurt her, or even use her.

I packed my bags and ready to leave the shore. There I saw Brenda sitting on the sands. She built a castle and put wonderful seashells on it as a decoration. We took a photo of it together so I could remember the moments we’ve shared together. Before we parted ways, I planned to tell her what she needs to know but she spoke first. She admitted that she rushed things too fast, and she predicted my thoughts before I could tell her.

I left the place with a smile on my face. Knowing that somebody cured my wounds and it healed so fast. I had the feeling of being loved after heartbreak… I felt living on a castle after being homeless.

The very important thing Brenda taught me about love: Do not search for love. Love will find you. You’ll never know, someone out there would build a better place for you.

(Photo courtesy of "Dear John")

Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman? (Part One)

(The story of a man named Joshua and the ladies that became part of his life. How he fell in love, feel loved, and searched for love, Joshua discovers how to really love a woman.)

First of Three Parts:
COLEEN

     
     Alone in the corner, I am speechless, hopeless, and loveless. The guitar is strumming but no lyrics are coming. It's another beginning, another path, another experience.

     Waiting or somebody to come, a wonderful lady approached and sat beside me. The words she spoke is like a melody in my head. I have no one to talk to, until this angel came to stay with me. This is how I met Coleen, my first love.

     Time passed by and seasons have changed, but my feelings for Coleen never fades. Like a tattoo that's marked on my heart, it still remains and hard to replace. I asked for a chance if we can be together. She said yes, and promised the love that would last forever. Love is not just a noun, it's also a verb – not just said, but also done.

     Promises, promises. I felt pain in my heart when that promise was broken, and never even made. Yes, we have lots of differences, but that doesn't mean she has to be different. Dreams are shattered, happiness turned to sadness, the relationship has ended –  but not my love that longs for her.

     
     I know it's hard for me to move on, since the first cut is the deepest. And I was blinded by this love at first sight thing which I should say, not true. Because at second glance, you will know what would be the chance. Love isn't the moment you struck your eyes on a beautiful person; it is just an admiration. For love knows the feeling and not just the sight of the other.

      I don't believe that first love never dies. You may have the memory of her but the feelings do not stay. I kept moving forward because if I stayed in this lonely road, I will just get stranded on this traffic jammed loneliness.

    A relationship is like a bicycle which needs balance and proper control. It wouldn't work properly if the wheel is alone. I know I'll still meet someone on the road that's worth my force and sacrifice to join me on this ride. I'm having this journey called love right now but I don't know where to go, 'coz this destination is hard to find.

     I escaped from yesterday's sorrow, and now, I'm free to travel, discover and enjoy the tunes along the way of possibilities.